Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2013 22:43:42 GMT
I'm glad you guys are here, because I'm only 14 and just starting the coming out process Sweety, I'm 25 and just start the coming out process. I actually envy you, that you realized your sexuality at your age, to be honest. But we are always happy to give advice and/or help in any way possible  hahah, yeah I guess I am pretty lucky in that area. And thank you so much |
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Post by drinkteaalways on Jul 14, 2013 22:54:45 GMT
I first started liking girls, or rather noticing I didn't like boys when I was about 12. I am 15 now and I'm out to a lot of my friends and they are all super supportive and wonderful. My parents don't know yet though. The hardest part has been accepting it myself and learning to be comfortable with the fact that I love girls and I shouldn't think that I am disappointing anyone. I still am having trouble with it but it has gotten better already. I had and still have a crush on one of my best friends (most likely straight). She knows I'm gay but not that I like her. Hopefully something good will happen no matter what |
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Post by punsnotguns on Jul 14, 2013 23:12:36 GMT
I came out to my parents just 2 weeks ago. I kind of didn't know how so I just told them face to face, which is unlike me and it was one of the scariest things I've ever done but I'm so glad I did it. I'd already come out to my friends, so luckily I had a big supportive friend base behind me. I guess the hardest thing for me when discovering that I'm gay was the fact that I live in a small town so I never really knew any gay people, which meant I felt kind of alone in what I was going through. But luckily now I have a few gay friends (plus a lot of supportive straight ones!) and it's nice to be able to talk about our experiences/know we're not being judged by each other. The only person I have to break it to now is my brother, and who knows how he'll take it? But I have supportive friends and parents who are trying ultra-hard so that's positive.
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Post by jwalton1299 on Jul 15, 2013 1:27:39 GMT
I first started liking girls, or rather noticing I didn't like boys when I was about 12. I am 15 now and I'm out to a lot of my friends and they are all super supportive and wonderful. My parents don't know yet though. The hardest part has been accepting it myself and learning to be comfortable with the fact that I love girls and I shouldn't think that I am disappointing anyone. I still am having trouble with it but it has gotten better already. I had and still have a crush on one of my best friends (most likely straight). She knows I'm gay but not that I like her. Hopefully something good will happen no matter what Oh wow! Our stories are actually quite similar! I mean, you started liking girls at about 12 and I started liking girls around that age too. Also, your parents don't know and neither to mine. Plus, you have a crush on one of your best friends who's most likely straight and I do too! I just found that to be kind of interesting |
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hartbiglove
New Member
this website confuses me
Posts: 12 
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Post by hartbiglove on Jul 15, 2013 1:57:39 GMT
Okay, so here's my story. I had a feeling for a long time that I might be gay. Maybe since I was 12 or at least that's when I recognized it. But I just always thought no, that's not you because you're normal. Then when I was 13, I told my mom that my friends were going out and she was skeptical because she was sure my one friend was gay (and in her defense, he is flamboyantly gay and has indirectly come out to me). At the time, I got really defensive and told her that he wasn't. I don't remember exactly what she said but these words stuck out in my memory: "you are sure of your sexuality." When she said that, my immediate thought was no I'm not. I guess she just said it out of ignorance and she assumed that there was no way that her own daughter was gay. (surprise!) Anyway, I pretty just pushed back all my feelings with superficial crushes and a strong desire for a boyfriend, although I now realize that what I really wanted was a relationship (which I still do). Last summer, I decided I was bi, but I kept way deep down in my most inner thoughts and feelings. Then at the start of 9th grade, I really started to think about it. I had a crush on my dance teacher (it's not as creepy as it sounds, she's 23 and I'm 15 and we're super close and we're pretty much best friends) and it was really hard for me to admit that to myself. In November, I actually decided that I was bi. I justified it because I was pretty sure I liked guys and I wanted to have biological children and in the end be normal I guess. By March, I knew I was a full blown lesbian. I struggled with that for a month or so. I was just so afraid of changing my mind. And I know that labels aren't important and all that, but I needed to give myself a label. That's just the kind of person that I am. I came out to my best friend in April. She's really the best best friend anyone can ask for and she's moving away and I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I haven't told anyone since. I have become more sure of myself though. I want to tell more of my friends soon, but it's just so hard for me to get the words out. The worst part is that it's not that I don't want people to know, I just don't want to tell them.
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Post by laurenlea on Jul 15, 2013 2:15:24 GMT
I'm almost 17, and I have been thinking about my sexuality, and even sometimes gender preference for a few years now.. and I am still confused. the most confusing part for me, is that I have loved this one guy for over 7 years now, and only just recently admitted to being "in love". with that constantly on my mind whilst thinking about my sexuality.. I have come to the conclusion that I am bi-curious. I haven't been with any females, or kissed any.. and until then I guess ill never know for sure. sometimes I feel like I should have been a guy, and sometimes I think I am bi. but I haven't told anyone at all about my feelings, in fact this is the first time I've told anyone...
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Post by drinkteaalways on Jul 15, 2013 3:08:28 GMT
I first started liking girls, or rather noticing I didn't like boys when I was about 12. I am 15 now and I'm out to a lot of my friends and they are all super supportive and wonderful. My parents don't know yet though. The hardest part has been accepting it myself and learning to be comfortable with the fact that I love girls and I shouldn't think that I am disappointing anyone. I still am having trouble with it but it has gotten better already. I had and still have a crush on one of my best friends (most likely straight). She knows I'm gay but not that I like her. Hopefully something good will happen no matter what Oh wow! Our stories are actually quite similar! I mean, you started liking girls at about 12 and I started liking girls around that age too. Also, your parents don't know and neither to mine. Plus, you have a crush on one of your best friends who's most likely straight and I do too! I just found that to be kind of interesting Yeah it is! I think it's cool! I love having people to relate to! |
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Post by drinkteaalways on Jul 15, 2013 3:11:11 GMT
Oh wow! Our stories are actually quite similar! I mean, you started liking girls at about 12 and I started liking girls around that age too. Also, your parents don't know and neither to mine. Plus, you have a crush on one of your best friends who's most likely straight and I do too! I just found that to be kind of interesting Yeah it is! I think it's cool! I love having people to relate to! Whats your tumblr? |
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Post by jwalton1299 on Jul 15, 2013 3:17:10 GMT
Yeah it is! I think it's cool! I love having people to relate to! Whats your tumblr? My tumblr is hp1299, what's yours? |
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Post by drinkteaalways on Jul 15, 2013 4:03:20 GMT
My tumblr is hp1299, what's yours? mine is drinkteaalways |
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amandashaaawty
New Member
Sometimes the best of intentions go awry, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
Posts: 30
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Post by amandashaaawty on Jul 15, 2013 6:09:15 GMT
Okay, so here's my story. I had a feeling for a long time that I might be gay. Maybe since I was 12 or at least that's when I recognized it. But I just always thought no, that's not you because you're normal. Then when I was 13, I told my mom that my friends were going out and she was skeptical because she was sure my one friend was gay (and in her defense, he is flamboyantly gay and has indirectly come out to me). At the time, I got really defensive and told her that he wasn't. I don't remember exactly what she said but these words stuck out in my memory: "you are sure of your sexuality." When she said that, my immediate thought was no I'm not. I guess she just said it out of ignorance and she assumed that there was no way that her own daughter was gay. (surprise!) Anyway, I pretty just pushed back all my feelings with superficial crushes and a strong desire for a boyfriend, although I now realize that what I really wanted was a relationship (which I still do). Last summer, I decided I was bi, but I kept way deep down in my most inner thoughts and feelings. Then at the start of 9th grade, I really started to think about it. I had a crush on my dance teacher (it's not as creepy as it sounds, she's 23 and I'm 15 and we're super close and we're pretty much best friends) and it was really hard for me to admit that to myself. In November, I actually decided that I was bi. I justified it because I was pretty sure I liked guys and I wanted to have biological children and in the end be normal I guess. By March, I knew I was a full blown lesbian. I struggled with that for a month or so. I was just so afraid of changing my mind. And I know that labels aren't important and all that, but I needed to give myself a label. That's just the kind of person that I am. I came out to my best friend in April. She's really the best best friend anyone can ask for and she's moving away and I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I haven't told anyone since. I have become more sure of myself though. I want to tell more of my friends soon, but it's just so hard for me to get the words out. The worst part is that it's not that I don't want people to know, I just don't want to tell them. I understand your struggle with needing to give yourself a label. For a long time I pressured myself into figuring out a label. None of the labels felt right in my heart. I would say straight, but considering I dated a girl for two years, I can't call myself that. I would say bisexual, but that never felt right either nor did lesbian. Then one day, I had a revelation. Who do we owe it to to label ourselves? What is giving ourselves a label going to do for us internally? "The worst part is that it's not that I don't want people to know, I just don't want to tell them." I also understand this! Nowadays I just don't mention my sexuality unless someone asks me a question about it. Yes, our sexuality is part of who we are, but it's not like we have to introduce ourselves to people as "Hi, I'm _______, and I'm straight/bisexual/gay/lesbian/etc." If someone asks a question about it and I feel that I can trust them/am comfortable with them, I will answer honestly. P.S. Loved reading your story! |
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Post by belikethebluebird on Jul 15, 2013 6:39:06 GMT
What's been frustrating for me is having a crush on a guy, and so assuming I'm straight, and then having a crush on a girl and assuming I'm not. After repeating THAT several times, I eventually was able to think ok, so bi? But I'm still not able to trust that I know myself. It's frustrating as ****. And Laurenlea, I just wanted to say, it's brave of you to put that out there for the first time And I can sympathize with having trouble with just being in love with someone in general. |
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Post by belikethebluebird on Jul 15, 2013 6:40:09 GMT
HAHA I meant I can sympathize having trouble ADMITTING to being in love with someone in general!
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pumpkinsparks
Junior Member
How did I not see the status thing before?
Posts: 85
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Post by pumpkinsparks on Jul 15, 2013 6:51:12 GMT
Okay, so here's my story. I had a feeling for a long time that I might be gay. Maybe since I was 12 or at least that's when I recognized it. But I just always thought no, that's not you because you're normal. Then when I was 13, I told my mom that my friends were going out and she was skeptical because she was sure my one friend was gay (and in her defense, he is flamboyantly gay and has indirectly come out to me). At the time, I got really defensive and told her that he wasn't. I don't remember exactly what she said but these words stuck out in my memory: "you are sure of your sexuality." When she said that, my immediate thought was no I'm not. I guess she just said it out of ignorance and she assumed that there was no way that her own daughter was gay. (surprise!) Anyway, I pretty just pushed back all my feelings with superficial crushes and a strong desire for a boyfriend, although I now realize that what I really wanted was a relationship (which I still do). Last summer, I decided I was bi, but I kept way deep down in my most inner thoughts and feelings. Then at the start of 9th grade, I really started to think about it. I had a crush on my dance teacher (it's not as creepy as it sounds, she's 23 and I'm 15 and we're super close and we're pretty much best friends) and it was really hard for me to admit that to myself. In November, I actually decided that I was bi. I justified it because I was pretty sure I liked guys and I wanted to have biological children and in the end be normal I guess. By March, I knew I was a full blown lesbian. I struggled with that for a month or so. I was just so afraid of changing my mind. And I know that labels aren't important and all that, but I needed to give myself a label. That's just the kind of person that I am. I came out to my best friend in April. She's really the best best friend anyone can ask for and she's moving away and I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I haven't told anyone since. I have become more sure of myself though. I want to tell more of my friends soon, but it's just so hard for me to get the words out. The worst part is that it's not that I don't want people to know, I just don't want to tell them. I understand your struggle with needing to give yourself a label. For a long time I pressured myself into figuring out a label. None of the labels felt right in my heart. I would say straight, but considering I dated a girl for two years, I can't call myself that. I would say bisexual, but that never felt right either nor did lesbian. Then one day, I had a revelation. Who do we owe it to to label ourselves? What is giving ourselves a label going to do for us internally? "The worst part is that it's not that I don't want people to know, I just don't want to tell them." I also understand this! Nowadays I just don't mention my sexuality unless someone asks me a question about it. Yes, our sexuality is part of who we are, but it's not like we have to introduce ourselves to people as "Hi, I'm _______, and I'm straight/bisexual/gay/lesbian/etc." If someone asks a question about it and I feel that I can trust them/am comfortable with them, I will answer honestly. P.S. Loved reading your story! Haha, I do the same thing. If it comes up naturally, or if someone asks me straight into the face, I answer honestly. Truthfully, that is how I 'came out' to all the people who know that I'm pan (though I usually say bi, to avoid the discussion). I mean, I don't hide it. Mostly the question comes up, because I look after a women, or a guy friend says something like "boy, that women was gorgeous!" and my respond is "YEAH! And damn those legs." Hartbiglove, good luck in coming out to your other friends. I know it can be tough sometimes. But if you need any help or support, please know that we're always here for you! |
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Post by tvfreakinabox on Jul 15, 2013 8:32:05 GMT
[...] When you are a hartosexual you are NEVER alone, you will be able to find one of us to go to even on your darkest days <3 This. This statement holds more truth than anyone can ever imagine. I came out to myself in September last year, after a pretty long struggle. I guess I should have known that I was gay when I was waaay younger, like 12-13... but I never had put much thought in it. I had a couple of crushes and been in love with a girl because it felt natural; it wasn't about 'oh she's a girl she's pretty', it was more like 'oh, this feels nice, I like it'. Fast forward a couple of years later, in 10th-11th grade. One of my best friends hooks up with a guy and I turn into this jealous monster. I found myself stealing glances, looking at her in ways I didn't even realize I had done before; I was craving her attention in more that just a best-friend way. When I realized that... I hated myself, I told myself that this isn't ok, being gay isn't something ok, I'm not that kid, no. Then life happened, we grew apart, I isolated myself from everyone I loved because of this (and other stuff) because I didn't feel like I deserved to have friends. I was in a bad place. Slowly - but steady - I accepted myself, I accepted that being gay is something natural and beautiful and I shouldn't put myself down for it. This is where I consider I came out to myself: I could say it to myself, yes I'm gay, I love this about myself and I love myself! Immediately after that, I found out about Grace, Hannah, Mamrie, tumblr. I found amazing people who were proud of who they are, and this gave me a sense of happiness, a sense of community, that I belonged somewhere. In late march (this year), I was reading some Hartbig fanfiction... and I decided that I want to tell someone. So I gathered up the courage and I told one of my best friends, to which I haven't talked for over a year (see: my feeling that I didn't deserve friends, isolated myself). Basically, I found in her the support I couldn't have hoped for. This gave me the courage to come out to other people, more or less everyone that matters in my life (except my parents). And this is where I am now. I'm 22, I love myself for who I am, I love girls, I love talking about the fact that I love girls (pretty hair, pretty smile, amazing bodies... someone, stop me...). I found some amazing friends in this Hartosexual/Hartbig/Holy Trinity community. I still have bad days, days when I can't talk about stuff with close (read: distance) friends, but I know there's someone as far as an ocean and a continent away (or 7 hours away) that I can always talk to, and that's amazing! You really aren't alone in this community, which feels very very much as a family. And I couldn't agree more with Hannah when she said that the Internet isn't a lonely place, it really does bring people together. |
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